A Delicious Mistake Page 12

  “I always suspected they had to have help in high places to get away with their deeds so easily,” Benjamin said.

  Gideon turned to Sarah and rested a hand on her shoulder. “Please accept my deepest sympathy for losing your loved one to this atrocity. Now we can take steps to see that something like this will never happen again.”

  “Thank you,” Sarah whispered. “Hearing the whole story has lifted a heavy load from my mind.” She looked down at her clasped hands, before she finally lifted her gaze to meet Benjamin’s intense look.

  To his relief, she nodded and smiled. Under Benjamin’s watchful gaze, a look of genuine peace began to settle on Sarah’s features, a kind of serenity that hadn’t been there before. He knew then that her true healing had begun. And perhaps that could now be true for everything between them.

  Chapter Ten: A Life for a Life

  On the sultry, warm night following her encounter with Gideon Mara, Sarah thought of Benjamin as she fell into a peaceful sleep for the very first time in what felt like forever. The air was thick with the sweet scents of the Serengeti plains, and the quiet whisper of the one river flowing in the distance joined in with other sounds to lull her into slumber. With all her anguish for Luke’s resolved and laid to rest—he could be buried now—a softer sorrow gently fell upon her.

  She had no more regrets, just a certainty Luke could now rest, too.

  She didn’t know how long she slept. Eventually, she was gently roused by a soft touch, a hand that stroked her hair with the utmost care. Sarah opened her eyes to find Benjamin Ndlovo sitting on her bed. She didn’t think to ask him how he had entered the house, let alone her bedroom. Not that she really needed to. Lindiwele had been keeping an eye on them both. She could imagine that the old, loveable woman had been only too happy to let Benjamin in and allow him to reach her. The cook was probably already dreaming of having surrogate grandchildren from the two of them and cooking massive breakfasts for all of them. That didn’t sound like such a bad idea, now that she thought about it.

  Sarah shook her head. She hoped Benjamin would think she was trying to shake off sleep. He really didn’t need to know she was entertaining the notion of marriage and children, even if for one fleeting moment.

  And then she felt it. She sensed it. The warmth of Benjamin body, the look in his dark eyes, revealed now by the moonlight flooding through her window all wove into a single awareness. He stared at her with a loving gaze that felt as if that look was just for her. It had better be! She thought in a sudden fit of jealousy. She didn’t want him seeking other women—or other women coming to him. She wanted him and no one else. And the look on his face just now made her feel utterly cherished and protected by his love. Shielded. Safe.

  With her brother’s death fully resolved—with a reason given for why he had died—Sarah looked for her own courage. Her brother had been a very brave man. How could she do anything but honor him by finding her own strength. She looked at Benjamin now and saw the utter truth—he loved her. Loved her as only a strong man can—with a love that is almost too much to speak. But he could show it.

  How blind she had been. Willfully blind because of her fears. How could she even begin to suspect this gentle man of ever harming her brother, someone they both loved so desperately much? But grief had left her wanting to lash out and hurt others. And she had not wanted to face the fact that she would never return to England.

  It was like Benjamin had told her during their confrontation in her brother’s study. She truly had known this all along. Why else would she have given herself to him in the complete way that she had?

  She heaved a deep breath. There were some things that needed to be said. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Benjamin. I’ve been such a—”

  Benjamin stopped her words by placing a gentle finger upon her lips. “It’s all right.”

  Pulling back just enough to speak, she shook her head. “It’s not all right, Benjamin. It most definitely is not.”

  “Words don’t matter. Actions do.”

  Sarah tried very hard not to react as he began to undo the top buttons of her thin nightgown. Her skin tingled. “Will you listen to me?”

  He looked up at her and stopped, visibly amused. “What?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Words do matter. And you’re impossible, you know that? I’m trying to apologize here.”

  “Fine. Apology accepted.”

  Sarah blinked. “Just like that?”

  “Well, no. Of course not.” His grin widened and his dark eyes took on a devilish glint. “You’ll have to show me just how sorry you are.”

  Sarah laughed. She understood. There was nothing that needed to be said, not then and not there. She reached out to grasp the back of Benjamin’s neck and brought him in for a long, tender, fiery kiss.

  She opened her mouth to him, gave herself to him. She wanted him to have her faith, her honesty, and her trust. She could give him her pride and her stubbornness. Above all else, she gave him her love.

  The future might be uncertain, but she knew one thing. Should she ever fall, he would catch her. Sarah didn’t say any of it out loud, but she didn’t need to. Her body spoke for her and she knew Benjamin understood the language. After all, he was very fluent.

  For her, Benjamin turned that night into a bold, decadent journey into a taste of the magical future that would be theirs if she wanted it.

  Sarah found she did indeed want it. She wanted it very much. She wanted him. She wanted him in her bed and most importantly, she wanted him in her life. All of him—his body, his mind, and his beautiful, huge, kind heart.

  “Sarah,” he rumbled. He mapped the outline of her body with his lips. The dark timbre of his voice as he spoke her name sent a shiver down her spine. “Sarah, I want you.”

  Warmth spread over Sarah’s body. That whisper, that quiet, loving, impossibly erotic admission was almost enough to push her over the edge and make her come. She resisted, if barely. A tug in her belly came in response to his attentions. That yearning, that ache had become familiar. Benjamin was the only one who had ever been able to awaken such emotions within her. That alone was reason enough to be grateful to him forever.

  Benjamin’s hands moved over her, eager but gentle as they guided her onto her side. He spooned up against her, the evidence of his need for her brushing against her ass.

  “Tell me if this is something you don’t want,” he said gravely.

  Sarah turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. “I want it.” I want you. In every possible way.

  Besides, she was eager to try new things, to explore that mostly unexplored part of herself with him. Her sexuality. Her urges. Her needs. Her passion. Her desires.

  She turned back to face away from him, expectant and nervous. Her excitement increased exponentially. He was unbelievably gentle. He was unbelievably hungry for her. He pushed into her from behind. It was rough, but it didn’t hurt. Sarah had never imagined anything could ever feel so good, and she certainly hadn’t imagined that the second time could be even better than the first. The touch of Benjamin’s big, strong, passionate, and yet ever gentle hands thrilled her.

  As he reached around and grasped her breasts, Benjamin’s fingers were cool, soothing. He stroked over her nipple, his magic fingers moving in tiny, electrically charged circles that drove her wild almost as much as the feel of him moving inside of her.

  Impossibly so, deliciously so, it felt like this was the first time all over again, and over and over and over again. Everything was new. Every single one of Benjamin’s touches, even the tiniest one, sent pleasure radiating through Sarah’s whole frame. He seemed to make her nerve endings burst into flame. Whenever Benjamin’s fingertips touched, sparks crackled on her skin.

  Sarah never wanted him to stop touching her—this way or any other way. His knowing, expert hands traveled over her skin as if he had already learned her body by heart. He knew exactly what to do to pleasure her. Yet it was also like he was committing her to memory, fi
nding everything new—her skin, her muscles, her bones. Herself.

  The combination of his rough strokes inside of her contrasting with the gentleness of his hands upon her flesh was almost too exciting for words. It drove her wild with a mixture of pure physical arousal and something that ran a lot deeper. She relished how passionate he was as much as she relished how gentle he could be. She cherished the way his enticing fingers probed, glided, and explored.

  They made love as if there were no tomorrow, even though their tomorrow had just begun.

  With gentle confidence, Benjamin coaxed her deepest and most secret fantasies to life, passionately bestowing a thousand decadent delights on her. It was a breathtaking, delicious torture for Sarah. He made her pleasure feel so good it almost hurt—in the best, most delicious of ways. Throughout the night, he took her with a primal tenderness that set him apart from all other lovers, she thought.

  With Benjamin deep inside of her, she courageously touched her lips to his to give him a soft, trembling kiss. He tasted of desire. She could hardly believe that she really was there with him, that she had given herself to him once again.

  This time, however, was infinitely better. This time, no questions or doubts clouded her mind and judgment. Benjamin had touched something deep within her, something she been scared of for most of her life. He had led her to that point of no return. And she loved it. She loved him.

  But as she lay within the circle of his arms, her body spent and her mind drifting, she wondered if he would ever say the words she longed to hear from him.

  * * *

  That second night they spent together became the first of many more heady nights of passion and the beginning of many long days of rapture and splendor.

  Sarah decided to stay in Tanzania. She phoned her parents to tell them, and had to return once to England to settle her affairs. They had been surprised at first, but their worries dissipated as soon as they realized that they had never seen her quite so happy with her life before.

  When Sarah returned again to the Serengeti, she knew this time it was to be forever.

  Each day she and Benjamin would wake before dawn. They had taken to watching the sun slowly cast its red, pink, and golden rays over the savannah before it gathered momentum and rose with gusto over the horizon. Sarah often would accompany Benjamin and young Thomas. She had rapidly grown fond of the young ranger since she got to be a big sister to him, one the kid had never gotten the chance to have. In the open Land Rover, the three of them headed for the golden plains of the Serengeti to be greeted by impalas, lions, and buffalo.

  Sarah would never forget the first ride she had with Gideon. He took her to watch the incredible, unforgettable sight that was the massive migration of wildebeest. The herds numbered in the thousands and piled on the banks of the river, waiting for the first animals to take the lead and bravely step into the water. That initial leap would springboard the rest, and then it would be an overwhelming stampede. Terrified yet determined, the wildebeest would one after the other spring from the banks and head to the opposite side. They scuffled and bumped into each other, some of them getting dunked in the water. The patrolling Nile crocodiles waited for nothing more than to get their chance to pick off the weaker ones. It had been breathtaking, yet tragic to watch nature take its course. It felt amazing to see. Sarah had felt small and humbled and grateful for her own courage in leaping for this life she had.

  One afternoon, Benjamin took her to a school that he had helped build with the rest of the community. It was one of the most advanced in Africa, especially when it came to practical matters. Dorms allowed female students to live here while finishing school so they could be free of the fear of being given off to marriage at an early age, kidnapped by rebels, or raped by poachers.

  “Many of us at the Game Lodge help to support the kids through their years of schooling," Benjamin told her proudly. “Your brother was their biggest supporter, financially and also morally. He was just a fan of these girls, of the bravery they show in studying.”

  Sarah enjoyed that day immensely, particularly because at the end of their visit the students treated them to a joyous dance. Filing out of their classrooms, they were happy to perform for the beautiful woman who smiled and laughed happily, and who was the kid sister of the man who had been their favorite mentor. Sarah clapped her hands to the rhythm and even joined in when they drew her into the dance. The day ended leaving Sarah feeling exhausted yet inordinately pleased.

  The best part of it all, of course, was Benjamin. He showed her life in the Serengeti, a life filled with rustic luxuriousness.

  The only thing that marred it all was the sadness of her final goodbye to Luke. The necessary arrangements for his burial were to be made in the Serengeti. Despite Sarah's parents wishes to have their son’s body returned to England, Sarah knew in her heart that Luke would have wanted to be laid to rest deep into the ground of the land he had loved.

  The day was heartbreaking, but also cathartic. Luke Hutton’s funeral turned out to be a celebration of the man and his life. Lucy and David Hutton made the trip, arriving at the Game Lodge on the morning of their son’s funeral. A nurse came with Sarah’s father, and he looked pale, but he insisted he had been wise to make the trip slowly and cautiously. Sarah’s reunion with her parents was tearful, but it was not as emotional as that of watching them be reunited with Benjamin. Seeing them together, Sarah realized that Benjamin’s bond with her family would never be broken. It hadn’t even been in jeopardy. Once again she was almost overwhelmed with the guilt of having suspected Benjamin. For the staff, particularly the older ones such as Lindiwele, the arrival of the Huttons became a cause for celebration. David and Lucy served as a blessing bestowed and a sign of good things ahead.

  Despite her trying not to worry too much, Sarah kept a watchful eye on her father. The day was a sad one, but the next day the staff insisted upon a large meal, singing, dancing, and a celebration. Made confident with medical help being nearby, the Huttons decided to stay on for a time. They intended to make the most of each day in order to honor the memory of their son who had lived in this land so fully and who had died for it. And Sarah knew this would be their final visit to their African home.

  * * *

  It seemed hard for Sarah to believe it had been two months since she had first arrived back in Africa. It felt both like she had never been away and yet that she was a different woman than the one that had first come back. She learned more about the land in those eight weeks than she had during all the years of her childhood. And yet eight weeks felt nowhere near enough time to have seen everything.

  As always, the sounds woke her in the morning. The night animals left to seek out the refuge of their dwellings, leaving the hunting and grazing grounds to the day dwellers, bellowing out last calls or howls. Stretching languidly, Sarah allowed the dawn birds to fully rouse. Before she even opened her eyes, she could sense that Benjamin was gazing down at her. This was no news whatsoever. She had become accustomed to waking up this way every morning. She really wouldn’t have it any other way.

  On that particular morning, when Sarah allowed her eyelids to lift, the dark eyes that met hers had a different look in them. Benjamin’s already fiery gaze was now alight with a different kind of passion. She couldn’t quite pinpoint or define it but the look seemed far deeper than any other she had seen in him before. It was more intense, but also warmer and less scorching. Benjamin stared down at her with something akin to fierce pride. He looked as if his love for her was so powerful and deeply rooted it could never possibly waver.

  Still, that searching gaze made Sarah uncomfortable—especially when she noticed that Benjamin was fully dressed.

  “Benjamin?” She drew herself up to a sitting position. She realized that while she had been sleeping, Benjamin had been outside, roaming the wilderness.

  Benjamin responded with that beautiful, gut-wrenching smile that had the power to tug at her loins. Without a word, he began unbuttoning his shirt.
Even after countless nights of lovemaking, Sarah couldn’t help but gasp at the glorious sight of his naked chest. She stared in open, breathless admiration as he bared himself for her inch by inch, smirking at her eager gaze. She knew she would never get used to the beauty of him, so raw and unrepentantly male.

  Once he had finished stripping off his clothes, Benjamin joined her under the covers. The coolness of his flesh soon dissipated as his skin warmed in response to Sarah’s heat. She knew she still smelled of the sweet sleep.

  When Benjamin slipped inside of her with unerring precision and undeniable impatience, she cried out and clutched at his shoulders.

  Apparently, this time they were foregoing foreplay. Just as well, she enjoyed it more this way. Foreplay was a kind of sweet torture and she was always impatient to feel him inside of her.

  Yet, like earlier when she had looked into his eyes, Sarah couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different. For all the roughness of his entering her so suddenly, Benjamin filled their moments with adoration. He painted his devotion for her on the canvas of her body in a language of touch that made her heart skip a beat. As with every time, he thrilled her to her core. Sarah felt herself blush shyly under his loving scrutiny, and her eyes shone as they held his.

  You could drown into this kind of love if you weren’t careful. And she intended to get lost exactly in this joyful love. But Sarah had the distinct feeling this was a moment in time that would never come again. For one precious, revealing instant, she felt like she could actually see into the wild, intense, engulfing life they could have together. If only she wanted to. And she wanted to. So badly and so very much. It hit her, this once-in-a-lifetime realization. She held her breath and let the electrifying tingle of awareness run through her.

  Closing her eyes, she could picture their future. She had never known if she could be the marrying kind or even the mother kind, but now she saw a home alive with the voices and laughter of children.