A Delicious Mistake Page 8

  He had been out all night on patrol and so had not heard she had arrived. But once he saw her—well, he had expected Sarah to be a slightly older version of the cute but awkward girl he had known. Instead, he found himself facing a beautiful woman. More than that, she was admittedly the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He had always been too busy, too taken up with the fate of the Serengeti to really pay any attention to women. But how could he not pay attention to Sarah? Hers was a striking kind of beauty—he never thought such a woman could exist in real life.

  He felt mesmerized by her. He couldn’t help but stare, completely awestruck. He didn’t believe he had ever before seen a woman quite as exquisite as the one that now stood before him. The fact that it was Sarah Hutton, the awkward little sister of his best friend, made his current predicament all the more painful. What could he say to her to see the pain he saw tight on her delicate features lessen? What could he do to relieve the hurt welling in those startling green eyes? How could he make the most beautiful mouth with its soft, pink lips smile instead of tighten with disapproval? She looked as if she were made out of alabaster.

  Her petite form drew an immediate sense of protectiveness from him—and also a sense of possessiveness. No woman had ever made him feel that way before, not even the rare ones he had dated. He stared at her. He wanted to shield her from every single danger of the world—and he held back the sudden and secret desire to claim her for himself.

  Something crackled between them, something invisible but almost physically tangible in its overwhelming intensity. This wasn’t the girl he had known. This was a woman who attracted him. But her brother—hell, his brother—had just been brutally murdered. She had just flown thousands of miles in what had probably been abysmal aircrafts and now she had demanded answers. As much as he wanted to act on his attraction to her, what was truly important now was to take care of her.

  Here I go again, he thought incredulously, wanting to shield and protect her as if she was still twelve and in pigtails.

  Benjamin swiftly shook himself. He was about to suggest they go somewhere quiet to talk about what had happened, when he noticed a change in her. Something shifted. She stiffened. Her fine, soft features hardened in such a way that she seemed to turn to stone right in front of his eyes.

  She spit questions at him, ones he took and ones that made him wince and turn away. But she would not let him go. She stepped in front of him and asked the worst question, the one that still haunted him.

  “Why did you let it happen?”

  A cold, icy note in her voice made him shiver. His stomach churned and his heart began to thunder in his chest from something that most definitely was not a surge of desire.

  He had asked himself that question so many times now. It was one reason why he had switched to taking night patrols—he could at least be out with the animals and the stars instead of in his bed with his guilt. He stared at her and shook his head. What could he say to her?

  “He trusted you!” She spoke as if the words might break her, as if pleading for something from him that he did not know how to give her.

  He glanced at her and saw accusation in her eyes. Folding his arms, he met that look with one he had given others who wanted to think him guilty. “Go home, Sarah. You should not have come. Africa has nothing for you now.”

  She shook her head, her red hair glinting in the sunlight. “Not until I find my brother’s murderer.”

  He winced again. Sarah kept her voice low. For that at least he was grateful. The last thing he needed was for anyone to overhear her. If she believed him guilty, others might decide that was enough and he might be lynched.

  Sarah continued to stare at him, her eyes a pair of green blades as they all but impaled him with their accusatory stare. “What happened?”

  Is she really asking me this?

  Benjamin could not believe it. He had thought the Huttons at least would understand. Now he knew he had no friends here. Luke’s death had taken everything from him.

  “Tell me, Benjamin Ndlovo. Why is my brother dead?”

  I don’t know, Benjamin thought, despairingly. He shook his head. If he told her that, it would give her nothing—less than nothing. She glared at him and demanded, “Why are you being investigated?”

  Because they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing, Benjamin thought, angrily. Another thing Sarah didn’t need to hear. It would only make her more determined to step into something dark and dangerous. He couldn’t encourage this idea of her trying to investigate Luke’s death. That might bring her up against poachers and perhaps even worse men.

  But what could he tell her?

  He saw a flicker of doubt in her eyes but he didn’t dare latch onto it. Perhaps if she believed him guilty she would hound him for answers and would not go looking elsewhere for her brother’s killer. Maybe he could keep her safe by keeping his silence and letting her think she needed to make him confess. He owed it to Luke to keep Sarah safe, and his blood heated when he thought of anyone trying to hurt her.

  He met her stare and said nothing.

  But he couldn’t find the strength to say it out loud.

  “Damn you—I’m going to find answers.”

  “Go home, Sarah. Leave this to the police.”

  “And to you? You’ll find Luke’s killer for me? Is that what you’ll do? Thanks—I’m staying. I’m not going home without all the answers.”

  Benjamin let out a breath. How was he to protect Sarah if she really was intent on poking into a murder? He had to find a way to keep her looking at him, to keep her thinking she could get him to confess to the crime. That would keep her from going to dangerous places on her own—as Luke had done.

  His throat tightened.

  Why had he let it happen? Why hadn’t he gone with Luke?

  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the guilt. It was his fault. He should have known something was wrong. He should have known something was going to happen. He should have known he was going to lose his brother.

  Why did he let it happen?

  I don’t know, Sarah. But it’s my fault, he thought. A hard knot of pain twisted in his chest.

  He couldn’t tell her that now. But he would find her the answers she wanted. He would find them for her—and for Luke. And he would keep Luke’s sister safe from everyone—even himself.

  Chapter Seven: Journey to the Hills

  Hours later, the more Benjamin thought about it, the less sense Sarah’s painful accusations made. It was one thing for her to be grieving for her brother to the point of no longer being able to think, but it was another matter entirely for her to even remotely consider him capable of killing Luke. The fact that she thought he could do such a thing had hurt.

  “You’re not yourself, Sarah,” he had told her, as gently as he could. “I can only imagine the pain you must feel, but please, take heed of the words you speak.”

  “Oh, sure, you look downright grief-stricken,” Sarah had retorted with a razor-sharp tongue. “My brother showed you nothing but kindness, and you abandoned him.”

  She had thrown out other allegations then, which probably stemmed from what little information the police truly had and the rumors they had chosen to spread in an effort to make it look like they had a firm grasp on the case, which they didn’t have, of course. She had informed him the police seemed to think he could be collaborating with poachers.

  “I just don’t know what to think anymore,” she had confessed. Her rage had finally dwindled enough that her tone had been reduced to a tired almost-whisper.

  “You’re way off the mark, Sarah,” he had told her with a calmness he didn’t feel. “Things might be tough out here, but I live within my means and I’ve always been happy with what I have. He had met her confused, enraged, accusatory gaze straight on. “Somewhere in your heart you must know the truth.”

  “You and Luke left together that morning and only one of you came back alive. I don’t want to believe it, Benjamin,
but it just seems too convenient and too improbable that you would know nothing about what happened.”

  It had been extremely difficult then to rein in his anger, but somehow he had managed. He had heaved a deep sigh. “I’m glad you’re back, Sarah, truly. I just never imagined it would happen under such circumstances. And I never imagined we wouldn’t be on the same side” He had taken one step forward, but she backed away from him. “You will think what you want to think, won’t you?”

  She had stood frozen, a lost look in her eyes.

  He hadn’t known what else to say to her, and so he had done the only thing he could. He had turned sharply and walked away.

  Even now, he couldn’t stop obsessing over that senseless confrontation. He wanted to defend himself, but what could he say that he hadn’t already said to so many others? He kept coming up empty-handed. Did she speak for her parent’s as well? The fact remained that without the support of the Huttons, there was no telling what the future held for him. At this point, he couldn’t think about the chance that he might lose his job. He had to find out what had happened to Luke. But he just couldn’t stand the idea of being put behind bars for something he hadn’t done. That would create a rift between him and those he had once considered as being his second family, which could never be healed. He couldn’t stand the thought that, by imprisoning him, the police would be allowing the real killer to go unpunished.

  He kept telling himself this terrible misunderstanding could be undone, that Sarah was simply grieving, and if she had been in her right mind she couldn’t believe he had anything to do with Luke’s murder. But the truth was that he had did not know this woman. What if she spoke from conviction rather than just pain? No, he couldn’t bring himself to believe it. There had to be room somewhere for faith in the human race. He would believe in her—and he had to trust that one day he would somehow regain her faith in him.

  For now, though, she hadn’t left him with much choice but to see to getting some space between them—for his sake as well as hers. More angry words between them would only deepen the gulf between them. He would retreat to the foothills. When faced with adversity, it was customary for his people to seek out the solace of the rocky outcrops in the higher regions of the Serengeti to ask the ancestral forefathers for guidance and counsel.

  Still, Benjamin couldn’t help but wonder what it was exactly that he was retreating from? Was he merely seeking refuge from Sarah’s scathing accusations or did his reasons go deeper? Could it have anything to do with his remarkable response to her as a woman? He might have done a good job of disguising it, but the effect she’d had on him had taken root within him like a budding stem. Now it reached out toward every edge of his senses. Her scent, the blush on her pale cheeks, the alluring green of her eyes that even in anger had sparkled so beautifully—he couldn’t stop thinking about her. As he prepared for his journey, he became more and more intrigued by his unexpected desire for Sarah Hutton. Its intensity had shocked him, and for a very long time he realized just how lonely the life he had chosen for himself truly was. There had never been much time for love and romance. Apart from a few steaming, short-lived encounters, Benjamin had more or less resigned himself to the single life. He had toyed with the idea of starting a family someday and every time he found it was indeed something he wanted. He wanted that very much—a home, not just a house, and loved ones to share his life with. But such visions seemed a long way off.

  Sarah’s sudden reappearance had taken him unaware. He was unprepared for her beauty and for his attraction to her. She was no longer the awkward, at times annoying tomboy she had been during their younger days—she was all woman now. He supposed it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would feel at least some level of awareness toward her striking physical charms. Even if it was all too plain that she hated him right now and was fervently wishing that it had been him who had died in her brother’s place.

  Suddenly, Benjamin forced himself to snap out of it. Pouring water into the basin, he splashed it onto his face and shook his head. He wasn’t going to dwell on such things. Picking up the few things he had packed, he left his hut and the perimeters of the Huttons’ Game Farms.

  When he finally made his way deep into the bush, he began to feel a blissful sense of calmness settle deep within his chest. Hopefully, he would receive some sign from the spirits of his forefathers during the time he planned to spend in solitude. Here in the wilderness, he could properly mourn the death of his best friend and brother and he could come to terms with his guilt. He should have done this days ago but he, too, had not been thinking clearly. Just like Sarah. He wished now that he had died instead of Luke. This would have been easier on Sarah if it had been him waiting for a grave. He would give anything to trade places, and even more to have his friend back.

  But Luke Hutton hadn’t been just a friend or even just another ranger. His family owned one of the game farms in the Serengeti National Park. That he—a rich white man—had been killed in such a brutal way, was bound to raise a lot of dust. It really was no wonder the police were in such a frenzy to find a scapegoat. There was no telling what waited for him once he finally returned to civilization. But at the very least this brief exile would help prepare him mentally for whatever he would have to face.

  One thing was certain, however. He would find a way to make friends again someday with Sarah. He couldn’t bear the prospect of having her think the worst of him forever. He wanted to get to that point, he needed to.

  Night after night, Benjamin’s mind was invaded by thoughts of Sarah. She had pierced through his shell so quickly and easily…it was disconcerting. She hadn’t even done anything to entice him, but he had felt a pull toward her all the same. Perhaps this was what his people spoke of when they said everyone was linked to one person from a previous life, so that when you met them in this life you felt the tug of the old connection that had bonded you together before. Benjamin was never one to give much credit to such stories, but still he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  As he retreated deeper and deeper to the wildest reaches of the Park, he let the magic of the Serengeti start to heal his heart. As often as he could, he made his way to one of the many outposts that lay scattered around this hauntingly beautiful region. He avoided any sign of tourists and the anti-poaching frontiers manned by a scant handful of wardens, and the odd lone nomad. But he never felt like he was alone. Not with the gazelle, the lion, the hippo, the giraffe, the zebra, and all the other creatures of the wilderness around to share this immensity with him.

  On the third morning, Benjamin awoke with a certainty in his mind—it was time to go back. The large orange ball of the sun cast its early morning rays on the land, reaching out with golden fingers to spread light across the mist-shrouded grasslands. Here and there, the occasional acacia tree cast a long shadow. If Benjamin listened he could hear the lions greeting the new day with their morning roars. In the distance, large herds of wildebeest roamed, taking their time to munch the green blades of tender grass.

  The beauty and changeless revival of nature had cleared his mind. Out here, it was hard to imagine any ugliness or anger or pain. Benjamin bowed his head and offered prayers for the spirit of his best friend. He knew that Luke was now flying with the wind that blew through the never-ending grasslands. Never would his brother know harm or suffering again. It was Benjamin’s belief that Luke rested within a kind of peace the ugly part of the world could never take away.

  When Benjamin lifted his head again, he pulled in a deep breath. He knew he had become a much more confident man. A much calmer man. A man who had come to terms—or had begun to—with the terrible loss that had forever left its mark on him. Leaving the safety of his compound at the Hutton Game Farm to spend time in the open wilderness had helped put things in perspective. This tragedy that had befallen them all, he could turn it around. There had to have been a reason for what had happened, and that reason surely could not be to bring enmity between Benjamin and Luke’s family. It c
ould not be about raising a bar that would remain forever between him and Luke’s sister, Sarah. In his heart, she would always hold a special place, a place he reserved for those with whom he shared a kinship. Luke had been in that place, too. But now he was gone. Benjamin would make sure to do his very best in order to protect Luke’s sister in any way he could. He would watch out for Sarah as Luke would have done, even if she hadn’t asked him to.

  Whatever feelings of desire he may have for her, they would have to be tucked away—permanently. He would honor her wishes if she wanted no part of him, but he would stand a friend to her. He could offer her that much.

  * * *

  The news of Benjamin’s disappearance didn’t sit well with Sarah. Everyone kept telling her he wouldn’t run away, but the raw fact was that he had vanished right after she had confronted him. Her very first conversation, if one could call it that, with him hadn’t gone the way she had expected, either. She had planned to be reasonable, to be just and level-headed. Instead, emotions had bubbled up inside of her and burst out—grief had mixed with the resentment that Benjamin was still alive. And it hadn’t helped anything that her attraction to the man had left her so angry at herself that she’d had to lash out at something—at someone—because she simply could not be attracted to a possible murderer.

  If only she hadn’t been so busy ogling the man, maybe she could have made more sense and gotten the answers she wanted. Instead, she’d seen Benjamin shut down as soon as she’d started to attack him. She’d watched his face, hoping to surprise a reaction—instead she’d put u a wall between them. She had meant to make him realize that, although deep down she didn’t really want to believe it, it was unfortunately extremely easy to doubt his innocence. She had let the hurt and pain welling up inside her take control. He’d barely even bothered to defend himself. What was that about? Did he want her to think him guilty?